AmayaTime8D (2015-02-08 16:48:05)

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Maybe I'm over reacting, or I'm just spoiled as hell, but I feel like my family pays little to no attention to me unless it's to gang up on me and make fun of me. My mother never speaks to me unless it's to tell me to work or it's to yell at me. I try to tell my two older sisters this, but they laugh at me. I can't trust them. Sure, I've snitched on them a few times, but that was when I was a small child.
I'm eleven years old and am currently the youngest in the family, so I don't have a say in anything. It really irritates me. My parents are constantly taking away my things, like my 3DS and my computer because they think I'm doing bad in school.
I have one B and then rest are As.
I'm only allowed on the computer from 5-7, which is torture as I wake up at around 7 AM daily. My parents refuse to buy me any games on my 3DS, and expect me to do schoolwork when I can't think of doing anything else. They think that I will always have something from school to work on, which is really annoying since I don't. I'm in sixth grade, I have next to nothing. I hardly have anything to study for, I'm pretty good in all of my subjects.
My mom's voice bothers me to no end. I wish I lived in another family, I wish that I could run away. But I can't. She's my mother, she gave birth to me. No matter how much I hate her, I still have this bond with her. I really hate her, I do, but I can't leave because of that bond. I can't leave my things here too, and it's not like they'd let me run away, either. I have a friend who lives in the neighborhood across the street, and I could easily go to her house. But her home is pretty small, and her sister doesn't like me. I don't want to burden them. I don't know where any of my other friends live, so I'm sort of stuck with my of a family.
Next, my sisters. Oh, how I love them. *sarcasm*. I have two that are older than me, and they're very close with each other. They're always going out with each other to the mall or some , and I'm left at home with nothing to do. Even when I ask if I can come wuth them, they tell me that I'm not important and nobody likes me. Ouch.
They always insult me, call me ugly and fat, and I act like those words don't hurt me, but they do. They really do. I'm fat, my stomach is huge from always eating. I'm ugly, I have a big nose and my dimples look disgusting. My head is giant and my hair is matted and dirty. Sometimes I don't care. Other times I do. Then I lash out at them, yelling that I don't give a crap and those times are when I get a good beating from my mother, even though it wasn't my fault.
I share a room with my sister, so I can't really cry. I feel like soon I'm just going to rip my hair out and release all the emotions I've held in all these years.
Sometimes I feel like killing myself. Sometimes I don't, bevause hell, I have a lot to live for! I'm nearly twelve! Sometimes I believe there is a lot to live for. But when I don't... I don't kill myself because I wouldn't have any sadness. Of course, without sadness I'd still be me. A better me. But without my sadness, I'd be so boring! And when I debate whether or not to kill myself like that, I feel caged. Like I don't know what to do. Simple words such as "You need to quiet down" can be taken so differently. In my head, it's "You're so ing annoying and loud. Shut the hell up and just kill yourself. No one would miss you at all. Hell, the world would be a better place without you!"
Do you know how much it hurts? You feel like screaming and burning down your house. Because I'm a coward, I'll never be able to kill myself as much as I want to. And it's agonizing, because I want to die. I really do. But I can't. I feel trapped with no way out. Nothing can help me. I'm a ing mess.

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AmayaTime8D (2015-02-08 18:43:58)

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Also, I'd like to add that whenever something happens in the house, all eyes are on me. Even if I didn't do it.

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carlos11 (2015-02-08 20:03:49)

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Alright, so you're eleven.

I'm sincerely sorry to tell you this, but it's the truth. Your parents only want to bring you down because they don't like you.
But I'll let you in on a little secret. At around the time you're 15, they'll have less and less control over you. Look forward to it.

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AntiChrist (2015-02-08 22:57:52)

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You have forever to be dead do wait it out for now. If you're only 11 now, you sure as hell will have better days. You know what my parents did whem I was twelve? They took away all my electronics and refused to take me to see my friends ever. Being homeschooled, it was a pretty lonely experience.

When I got a few years older, I had a hell of a lot more freedom. With age comes freedom, as long as you don't live with controlling sociopaths.

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AmayaTime8D (2015-02-09 00:40:32)

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Okay, I guess you're right. Sorry for the spam.

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Nutsy (2015-02-09 01:18:18)

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This isn't spam. You remind me a lot of my sister, but she's a really huge drama queen. I hope you're just overreacting and your family isn't a huge jerk. You can tell your school about this. They might be able to help.

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Destroiya (2015-02-09 05:08:33)

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AC is right. Just wait it out as long as possible. For every pro there is a con and vice versa.

I was taught a lesson the other day, and it was about this world and parents. This world is harsh and cruel, and anyone can be fired from their job, murdered, falsely tried, and many others. Your parents could be just preparing you for the worst to come. I think you would want to say "my father/mother is worse than you are" to your boss. Parents who pamper their children with constant care and affection do not understand what might happen later on. When that child leaves to the world, he/she will expect the same care and kindness from everyone, and it goes all wrong. Sometimes a parent must lose all love and trust for what is right, even if the child hates them. So it is just a little reasonable what they are doing, but to a certain point of course. They must still treat you with much more respect than that, and care for your hygiene because that is not cool to do that to you, support you (unless what you did was wrong), and acknowledge your limits.

If they fail at those and it just gets worse from now on. DHS is formed for a reason. I wish you luck.

This post has been edited one or more times, the last time was:
2015-02-09 05:24:38

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espace39 (2015-02-09 20:44:23)

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Inject some Marijuanas and shoot up a school. Then they'll listen.

I'm sure they don't hate you otherwise they would throw you out of the house.

This post has been edited one or more times, the last time was:
2015-02-09 20:45:18

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Destroiya (2015-02-12 13:29:33)

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You know when your parents hate you when they do nothing for you. I mean nothing.

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Draazen (2015-02-13 16:46:31)

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You have it a lot better than I did..

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AmayaTime8D (2015-02-16 02:05:39)

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^ How is that supposed to make me feel better...? I know there are people who have it worse, but that doesn't make my situation any better.

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BirdJesus (2015-02-18 07:23:26)

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So, apparently, parents teaching their kids like crap is "preparing them for the world."

Life's a cakewalk if you stick with the right mindset.

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ConnorRonnoc (2015-02-18 13:04:56)

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>11 years old


OOOOOOOOOOOOH WE IN FOR A TREAT

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AmayaTime8D (2015-02-22 15:21:27)

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^ ?????? what

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espace39 (2015-02-26 20:38:59)

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If my child was a weeaboo I'd be pretty anal about it too.

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