3DSPlaza forums - Totally true story that definately happened.

Back to forum: Real Life Stories

Search forums via Google

3 Users appreciate this thread.

Totally true story that definately happened.
> >>

Started by AntiChrist
(2015-06-03 02:38:02)

AntiChrist (2015-06-03 02:38:02)

Ok, so THERE I WAS, standing in the hallway, helping a random stranger with his homework because I'm known to be super smart and everybody loves me, when all of a sudden the douche bag swaggot come over and starts hitting on the attractive popular girl at school. She's a Z cup. Since she's totally incapable of just ignoring the guy or getting him to leave her alone, I run up to the guy and start mass producing snappy combacks like a printer that makes good combacks instead of paper. The douche bag, speechless doesn't know how to respond. The entire school stopped what they were doing and ERUPTED INTO APPLAUSE. Then the bully got so mad that he punched me 47 times, but it had no effect. I flexed my muscles so hard that all my clothing ripped off, revealing my DELICIOUS twelve pack and my tan body. He was so scared that his pants were soaking wet. I then looked him dead in the eye and said;

"I will not bother fighting you, because I am being the more mature person."

The entire school was now roaring with APPLAUSE and cheering. The guy tried to hit me, but I dodged it and punched him so hard he flew out the window and landed into a pile of hoarse droppings, conveniently placed exactly where he landed. The entire school was now clapping and cheering so hard that their hands bled and their lungs exploded. However, I taught myself how to heal people so I did surgery on everybodies lungs before anyone could die. I saved everybodies life. The girl then decided to go out with me. All the other girls got so jealous that they took steroids and beat up everybody in the school, then looked at my gf and said "you're next".

Then the quiet kid in class cleared his throat. Everybody quickly stopped what they were doing to pay attention to the undeniable logic that was about to come out of his mouth. Everyone was sweating with anticipation. The suspense was killing everybody. He then opened his mouth. He was about to say something. Everybody was now on the edge of their seats. The quiet kid began to talk.

"Brandon is awesome. He is the only one who can save popular girl and beat the steroid chicks."

The entire school ERUPTED INTO APPLAUSE. I had to do surgery on everyone again. I single handedly beat every single steroid girl while reciting the alphabet backwards. As anticipated, I had to perform surgery four more times.

Then one of the girls got cancer from her steroids. I had to sacrifice myself to cure her with my life force. During my funeral, everybody was sad. Even Obama came. He gave a speech about how cool I was. Then I brought myself back to life, unsure what was going on. Everyone erupted into applause once again and cried tears of joy. Then an alien spaceship came. Space Jesus came out of it and said I was the chosen one,and I had to protect the whole universe from cosmic Hitler because I was the only one special enough to stop him.

I then ran all the way to the edge of the universe in only 30 seconds because I am really athletic and handsome. I then went to face cosmic Hitler in the final battle. But then.... PLOT TWIST cosmic Hitler turned out to be the bully from my school! DUN DUN DUNNNNN! The bully had come back to get his revenge on me. But this time, he was on steroids. But not just any steroids.... MEGA STEROIDS!!!! So what did I do? I woke up. That's right. I woke up. I woke up and stopped being a compulsive liar who tries to convince everyone on the internet that I am a special snowflake. I found better ways to deal with my insecurities than typing up this lame nonsense. I accepted the fact that nobody thought I was super cool and awesome, and it probably, no, MOST CERTAINLY WAS my fault and mine alone. I never did anything interesting, but I exaggerated. I convinced myself that I did. I wasted many hours making up these "convincing" stories where I was the hero to impress some 13 year olds I had never actually interacted with in the real world.

I humbled myself, started lifting, stopped being overly quirky and childish and stopped pretending I was very different and that my internal, invisible individualism wasn't a joke. I stopped silently judging everyone else for being "too stupid" when I was actually the uptight prick who thought I was "smart".

You're not the random, special quirky snowflake 'nerd' you think you are. You're just another compulsive liar on the internet. Get over yourself.

........AND THAT'S HOW I DEFEATED COSMIC HITLER! YEAH!! WOOP WOOP. Stop trying to impress people on the internet with make believe stories and you can beat COSMIC HITLER as well.

jaxcat3 (2015-06-03 05:20:29)

That was so terrible, it was awesome...

sand

carlos11 (2015-06-03 22:44:59)

Fake/10.

Let me just move this to the appropriate forum section realquick.

Language is a tool for efficient communication. The internet is a tool for fast communication. Do not defy both intents by posting incoherent writing.

Naira (2015-06-04 10:44:31)

In your dreams.

Draazen (2015-06-04 17:13:04)

I knew that was fake as soon as I read "I'm known to be super smart and everybody loves me."

AntiChrist (2015-06-04 23:56:28)

Just to be clear, this posts is making fun of many different kinds of posts that are on tumblr, such as the quiet kid saying something, the school bully being told off, etc. They are all lies and most of them end with the entire area "erupting into applause".

Naira (2015-06-05 13:10:58)

Tbh, I thought this was real until I saw the comments.

little5 (2015-06-05 16:40:13)

It was nice until you killed the climax.

Is it really obvious to point out that it's fake?

Perfect_Chaos (2015-06-06 07:08:10)

^^ wut? You actually thought that he faced Cosmic Hitler until you read the comments?

I knew it was fake when I looked up Z cup, also when his clothes ripped off and